The Truth About Egyptian Men

I haven’t been lied to in a long time. So long, in fact, that I had forgotten how badly it hurts and how quickly it breeds mistrust. But it happened to me this past weekend. In the interest of getting something from me, an Egyptian male acquaintance of mine, lied to me.

Under normal circumstances (i.e. if it didn’t happen in Egypt), I might have written it off as it being just him. However, at this point in my Cairo odyssey, I have had enough negative interactions with men and heard enough horror stories from my friends who have lived here for years to become quite guarded.*Now I enter all friendships and negotiations with shopkeepers with a certain wariness. It’s ashamed too that I have to be that way because most Egyptian men do possess admirable qualities.

For one thing, Egyptian men are fiercely loyal with their friends. For instance, I went to a wedding and was planning on catching a cab home with the MOB. Afterwards, a young gentleman offered to drive us back to Ma’adi, which was a 30 minute drive out of the way for him because the wedding was in the same city where he resided. After we have been in the car for a while, we thanked him and he said that it was no problem. He told us because we were friends with the groom’s father that he would have driven us all the way to Alexandria (which is 3 hours away) if that’s where we needed to go.

Egyptian men are affectionate with their families. They speak well of their mothers and fathers. There is a sense that they take care of and protect their sisters. The men here care a lot about their children, too. I can’t actually recall ever seeing a television show or a movie in America that portrayed a Middle Eastern man being affectionate with his children. Yet every day, I see Cairene men playing with their children or holding hands with them as they cross the street.

Egyptian men are “The Providers.” I have been out multiple times in groups of mixed company. In almost all of those instances, men have picked up the check without allowing for any discussion and without even expecting a “thank you.” In fact, the men seemed to be surprised when I expressed my gratitude.

Furthermore, before a man can marry a woman, he has to buy an apartment for her, purchase an expensive engagement ring, and save up money for a big wedding present (think lots of gold or a honeymoon trip overseas). It’s just a given that if he wants to have a wife, he needs to do these things. Not only does all of this generosity show financial stability, but there’s an inherent sense of responsibility and respect towards others that goes along with it. And while all this may provide fodder for the feminist to assert that financial providence is just another form of male domineering, there’s something really nice about being taken care of in that way.

*NB: I realize and even acknowledge that I’m generalizing here and that relationships should be taken on case-by-case basis. As is true everywhere, there are men who are kind and men who aren’t. Nonetheless, there are certain patterns of behavior that are repeated frequently here.